In previous posts, I've written about how working with kids and having autism can sometimes be a challenge. This continues to be proven in my current job at the preschool I work at, and I continue to find ways to overcome and compensate for these difficulties.
Two of the things my preschool kids love to do is play with shaving cream and paint with something called Puff Paint. Puff Paint is made with shaving cream, glue, and food coloring. These two things are hard for me to do with the kids because of my sensory issues. I don't like stuff stuck to my skin, especially on my hands. Both shaving cream and glue feel very weird to me. I especially don't like glue. It's sticky and messy and hard to get off. Shaving cream isn't as bad, but it's still messy and feels weird.
One of my coworkers asked me the other day exactly why I didn't like the feel of these two things. What specifically about them did I not like. She loves doing these activities and loves the feel of them. I can't really point to the exact thing that causes me to avoid touching these things. I can't really fully explain most of my sensory issues, especially touch. It just feels weird. I don't like it. Something in my brain is wired differently so that when I touch these things my brain says "That's not right. Don't do that." Logically, I know there's nothing wrong with these objects or substances, but logic doesn't seem to matter with autism and sensory issues. My system is still going to react negatively to these stimuli.
Sometimes when people find out I'm sensitive to one or two things, they start asking me what else I'm sensitive to. Some people don't understand how I can be sensitive to certain things but not other things. One person couldn't understand that I don't like shaving cream, but foaming soap doesn't bother me. It's because those aren't the same texture. They don't feel the same; not even close.
Be sensitive to someone with sensory issues. Don't tell someone with sensory issues that their difficulties don't exist, they're just in their head, they're weird, or they don't make sense. Be kind, try to understand, and learn from people with sensory issues. It's hard enough for us as it is. Don't make it harder.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Eye Contact: A Personal Victory!!!
Autism is a life-long condition that currently has no cure. There are treatments and therapies that can help individuals improve or overcome some of the symptoms of autism, but it never truly goes away. Sometimes progress is slow, but those little victories can be monumental for some with autism. Even though I have high-functioning autism, I still have my share of personal victories of overcoming my autism.
The most recent one was last night. I've been with my boyfriend, Tommy, for a little over 4 months now. Naturally, as relationships do, we've grown closer together and have gotten more comfortable around each other. Last night, we were having one of those intimate moments where we were talking face to face. One of those really close and special moments. During these times, I've always been aware that he looks, or tries to look, into my eyes. However, I've never been able to meet his gaze. Now, I've written a post on here in the past about why eye contact is difficult for people on the autism spectrum, or at least for me. I always look at people's mouths 1) because it makes it look like I'm making eye contact and 2) because it helps me understand what people are saying. Sometimes, in the past, I've tried to make eye contact but could only hold it for a few seconds. Last night was different though.
Last night, I decided to try an experiment. Last night, I decided to be brave. For the first time since I can remember, I met someone's gaze.....and held it! I wasn't looking at his mouth or his nose or the top of his head but into his eyes! I noticed something.....I didn't feel anxious or awkward or overwhelmed or confused or anything like that. I don't think I can fully explain to you what I felt, but it was good. Even though I did see a lot of emotion in his eyes, it wasn't overwhelming. I seemed to understand them all. I was able to hold his gaze for maybe 15-30 seconds (which is a lot compared to 1-3 seconds before) before I would have to look away. I would regain my thoughts and composure and then could meet his gaze again! This happened 3 times!
We ended up talking about it later. He thanked me for trusting him that much to step out of my comfort zone and try something like that. I swear, I almost started crying tears of joy because I felt so good. You see, "typical" people take this kind of stuff for granted. It's not that easy for us. Every obstacle we overcome, every triumph we gain, every little victory we have feels huge. Overcoming the challenges of autism means being able to connect better with the people and the world around us. For me, I didn't just make eye contact with someone. I connected with him on a new level, a level I've never been able to do before. That's why we celebrate.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
The most recent one was last night. I've been with my boyfriend, Tommy, for a little over 4 months now. Naturally, as relationships do, we've grown closer together and have gotten more comfortable around each other. Last night, we were having one of those intimate moments where we were talking face to face. One of those really close and special moments. During these times, I've always been aware that he looks, or tries to look, into my eyes. However, I've never been able to meet his gaze. Now, I've written a post on here in the past about why eye contact is difficult for people on the autism spectrum, or at least for me. I always look at people's mouths 1) because it makes it look like I'm making eye contact and 2) because it helps me understand what people are saying. Sometimes, in the past, I've tried to make eye contact but could only hold it for a few seconds. Last night was different though.
Last night, I decided to try an experiment. Last night, I decided to be brave. For the first time since I can remember, I met someone's gaze.....and held it! I wasn't looking at his mouth or his nose or the top of his head but into his eyes! I noticed something.....I didn't feel anxious or awkward or overwhelmed or confused or anything like that. I don't think I can fully explain to you what I felt, but it was good. Even though I did see a lot of emotion in his eyes, it wasn't overwhelming. I seemed to understand them all. I was able to hold his gaze for maybe 15-30 seconds (which is a lot compared to 1-3 seconds before) before I would have to look away. I would regain my thoughts and composure and then could meet his gaze again! This happened 3 times!
We ended up talking about it later. He thanked me for trusting him that much to step out of my comfort zone and try something like that. I swear, I almost started crying tears of joy because I felt so good. You see, "typical" people take this kind of stuff for granted. It's not that easy for us. Every obstacle we overcome, every triumph we gain, every little victory we have feels huge. Overcoming the challenges of autism means being able to connect better with the people and the world around us. For me, I didn't just make eye contact with someone. I connected with him on a new level, a level I've never been able to do before. That's why we celebrate.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Oh Yeah, I Have Autism
I've known for a while that I'm on the autism spectrum. I've had an official diagnosis for a little over 6 years now. Many people tell me that they would never have guessed that I have autism. It's because I'm on the high-functioning end of the spectrum, and my autism is different than those on the severe end. There are times when I, myself, forget that I have autism. Of course, I don't mean that I literally forget. I just mean that, at times, it affects me less than it does at other times.
Then there are times like the other night, when I'm reminded that I am, if fact, on the autism spectrum. In certain situations, it's possible to see the defining characteristics of autism or to see a classic autism behavior or response in me. The other night, no matter how much I tried to reason with myself and be calm, autism hijacked my brain and shut it down.
You may know that people with autism like to have routine and rituals. Any changes to these routines bring anxiety, confusion, and fear. You may also know that people with autism can get attached to certain objects. This story starts by telling you that I sleep with a sleep mask. I do this because I can't stand any light when I'm trying to sleep. I can't make any room pitch black, especially when the sun comes up. So...sleep mask. I sleep with it every night. Also, I've had this thing for years. It's starting to fall apart. However, do I throw it out and get a new one? Nope! I like that one, and I'm used to it.
Well....the other night, I couldn't find it. I tore up my entire room trying to find it, getting more and more upset as time went on. This is where I tried to reason with myself. "Just go to bed without it. It'll be fine for tonight." However, every time I thought about doing that, my anxiety would only worsen. I can't fully explain to you why the thought of going to bed without my sleep mask for one night gave me such anxiety, but it did. It was a change in routine. It was the fact that I couldn't find something that I needed/wanted. It didn't help that I was exhausted because it was late at night. It was also the end of the week, and I was exhausted from work and summer school and everything else. I eventually became somewhat hysterical from what I remember, which is kind of hard because when I get like that, everything becomes a little hazy. I was searching frantically, crying, and the only thing I could manage to say over and over again was "Where is it? I want it." When I finally found it, I was so exhausted and all worked up that I laid on my bed and cried until I almost fell asleep.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to autism. This is something that can happen in the face of change, exhaustion, and anxiety. It happens to me, and it happens to others as well. Just like it was hard for me to reason with myself, it's very hard/near impossible to reason with someone who is in a meltdown. Anxiety takes over the whole person, and it's a downward spiral. Some people may read this and not understand it at all. They don't understand how something "so small" can trigger something "so big", such as a meltdown. But it can. For us, those things are not small. For us, those "small things" can trigger emotions we may have a hard time interpreting and expressing. They can trigger responses we may not know how to control. We end up crying, shutting down, or lashing out. Maybe if you saw the world the way we see it, those things wouldn't seem so small after all.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Then there are times like the other night, when I'm reminded that I am, if fact, on the autism spectrum. In certain situations, it's possible to see the defining characteristics of autism or to see a classic autism behavior or response in me. The other night, no matter how much I tried to reason with myself and be calm, autism hijacked my brain and shut it down.
You may know that people with autism like to have routine and rituals. Any changes to these routines bring anxiety, confusion, and fear. You may also know that people with autism can get attached to certain objects. This story starts by telling you that I sleep with a sleep mask. I do this because I can't stand any light when I'm trying to sleep. I can't make any room pitch black, especially when the sun comes up. So...sleep mask. I sleep with it every night. Also, I've had this thing for years. It's starting to fall apart. However, do I throw it out and get a new one? Nope! I like that one, and I'm used to it.
Well....the other night, I couldn't find it. I tore up my entire room trying to find it, getting more and more upset as time went on. This is where I tried to reason with myself. "Just go to bed without it. It'll be fine for tonight." However, every time I thought about doing that, my anxiety would only worsen. I can't fully explain to you why the thought of going to bed without my sleep mask for one night gave me such anxiety, but it did. It was a change in routine. It was the fact that I couldn't find something that I needed/wanted. It didn't help that I was exhausted because it was late at night. It was also the end of the week, and I was exhausted from work and summer school and everything else. I eventually became somewhat hysterical from what I remember, which is kind of hard because when I get like that, everything becomes a little hazy. I was searching frantically, crying, and the only thing I could manage to say over and over again was "Where is it? I want it." When I finally found it, I was so exhausted and all worked up that I laid on my bed and cried until I almost fell asleep.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to autism. This is something that can happen in the face of change, exhaustion, and anxiety. It happens to me, and it happens to others as well. Just like it was hard for me to reason with myself, it's very hard/near impossible to reason with someone who is in a meltdown. Anxiety takes over the whole person, and it's a downward spiral. Some people may read this and not understand it at all. They don't understand how something "so small" can trigger something "so big", such as a meltdown. But it can. For us, those things are not small. For us, those "small things" can trigger emotions we may have a hard time interpreting and expressing. They can trigger responses we may not know how to control. We end up crying, shutting down, or lashing out. Maybe if you saw the world the way we see it, those things wouldn't seem so small after all.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Autism and the Dulcimer Festival
Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy with life haha. I've had school, finals, went to a concert, and went to a dulcimer music festival. Actually, that last one is what I'm going to talk about today.
This last weekend, Tommy (my boyfriend) and I went to Glen Rose, TX for the 34th Annual Lone Star State Dulcimer Music Festival. We had a blast! My friend Wendy, who I met at Erin's wedding, was the one who told me about the festival. She was also there, and we became her unofficial roadies LOL. This festival consists of two full days of people playing music on the stage in the middle of the park, contests, merchandise selling, raffles, dancing, workshops, and jam sessions.
After a crazy first night of getting in at 12:30am and sleeping in Tommy's truck, we found Wendy. We had actually been parked next to her the whole time haha. We had some drama with the front office and our tent situation. Long story short, I ended up staying in Wendy's two-room tent with her, and Tommy slept in one of ours. That craziness and change in plans is not a good start to a weekend for a person on the spectrum. However, it got better after that.
We had a great time helping Wendy with her merchandise stand and enjoying the festival. However, because of my autism and the kind of person I am, I reach a point in my day where I am just done...with everything. I've been around people too long or done too much work that I'm just mentally done. My brain starts to shut down. I feel like a zombie moving around, only half aware of what's going on around me. I think that's how I must look too because some people notice it. I don't think Tommy knew exactly what it was, but he knew something was up and would as if I was okay. Wendy knew though and could tell I was done. She recognized it because she gets the same way.
Day 1 wasn't too bad. I got to that point, but it wasn't until the end of the day. I was able to put myself to bed and get some sleep. Day 2 was harder. I hit that point earlier in the day, about mid-afternoon. You have to understand that when I reach this point, I don't like to be touched a lot. I don't like to answer questions or talk a lot. Anything that requires a lot of mental effort is out of the question because my brain is just not working fast enough. I get irritated and frustrated very easily. Poor Tommy was on the receiving end of much of my irritability that day, and it wasn't his fault. He's very much a physical person. That is, he shows his love, affection, and concern through touch (hugs, rubbing my back, holding hands, etc.). That's very different from me. We've had to compromise.
On that 2nd day of the festival, the more withdrawn and upset I seemed to get, the more he wanted to comfort me. The more he did that, the more annoyed I got because I didn't want to be touched. However, because I was in this state and my brain wasn't working properly, I couldn't find the words to adequately describe to him what was going on without being rude. All my mind was say was, "STOP TOUCHING ME!" I didn't want to yell at him so I said nothing. I eventually had to go off by myself where I could let my mind rest and reset. When I came back, I was able to coherently talk to him about what was going on and how I felt. He apologized and said he had no idea I felt that way and that he was making things worse. He also said he understood and agreed to give me my space when I needed it. I knew that communicating my needs was what I needed to do. It's just that sometimes it takes resetting my brain in order to do so.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
This last weekend, Tommy (my boyfriend) and I went to Glen Rose, TX for the 34th Annual Lone Star State Dulcimer Music Festival. We had a blast! My friend Wendy, who I met at Erin's wedding, was the one who told me about the festival. She was also there, and we became her unofficial roadies LOL. This festival consists of two full days of people playing music on the stage in the middle of the park, contests, merchandise selling, raffles, dancing, workshops, and jam sessions.
After a crazy first night of getting in at 12:30am and sleeping in Tommy's truck, we found Wendy. We had actually been parked next to her the whole time haha. We had some drama with the front office and our tent situation. Long story short, I ended up staying in Wendy's two-room tent with her, and Tommy slept in one of ours. That craziness and change in plans is not a good start to a weekend for a person on the spectrum. However, it got better after that.
We had a great time helping Wendy with her merchandise stand and enjoying the festival. However, because of my autism and the kind of person I am, I reach a point in my day where I am just done...with everything. I've been around people too long or done too much work that I'm just mentally done. My brain starts to shut down. I feel like a zombie moving around, only half aware of what's going on around me. I think that's how I must look too because some people notice it. I don't think Tommy knew exactly what it was, but he knew something was up and would as if I was okay. Wendy knew though and could tell I was done. She recognized it because she gets the same way.
Day 1 wasn't too bad. I got to that point, but it wasn't until the end of the day. I was able to put myself to bed and get some sleep. Day 2 was harder. I hit that point earlier in the day, about mid-afternoon. You have to understand that when I reach this point, I don't like to be touched a lot. I don't like to answer questions or talk a lot. Anything that requires a lot of mental effort is out of the question because my brain is just not working fast enough. I get irritated and frustrated very easily. Poor Tommy was on the receiving end of much of my irritability that day, and it wasn't his fault. He's very much a physical person. That is, he shows his love, affection, and concern through touch (hugs, rubbing my back, holding hands, etc.). That's very different from me. We've had to compromise.
On that 2nd day of the festival, the more withdrawn and upset I seemed to get, the more he wanted to comfort me. The more he did that, the more annoyed I got because I didn't want to be touched. However, because I was in this state and my brain wasn't working properly, I couldn't find the words to adequately describe to him what was going on without being rude. All my mind was say was, "STOP TOUCHING ME!" I didn't want to yell at him so I said nothing. I eventually had to go off by myself where I could let my mind rest and reset. When I came back, I was able to coherently talk to him about what was going on and how I felt. He apologized and said he had no idea I felt that way and that he was making things worse. He also said he understood and agreed to give me my space when I needed it. I knew that communicating my needs was what I needed to do. It's just that sometimes it takes resetting my brain in order to do so.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Monday, April 20, 2015
Wedding Weekend!
I apologize for being away for a while. It's been a while since my last post, and that's because my life has been crazy busy. The end of the semester is coming up, projects are due, I've been doing stuff with the social club I'm a part of, I have a boyfriend, and my best friend, Erin, got married. Wow! Now, this last weekend, I was sick. Ugh! It never ends! Haha but I found some time to write this today, and I want to tell y'all about Erin's wedding! But from the perspective of someone with autism.
Weddings are great and fun, but they can be tiring and a little overwhelming too...even if you're not the one getting married lol. I knew going into that weekend that I would be around a lot of people I didn't know. I knew that although I was going to Erin's wedding, I wouldn't get to spend a lot of time with just her. I knew that I'd be sleeping in people's houses that I didn't know. There were just so many things that I just wasn't sure of, and that made me nervous. However, I was super excited because I was getting to see Erin, whom I don't get to see very often. I was happy to get to be a part of this joyous occasion in her life.
It was hard though. I'll admit that while it was a great time and I would do it again, I was glad to go home at the end of the weekend. The weekend was full of running around, people I didn't know, no alone time to process things, changes in plans, and high emotions. By Saturday night, I was just a bit overwhelmed haha. Saturday is when plans changed. Hey, it happens. However, by that time, I was tired (physically and emotionally), hungry, and completely overstimulated. With other factors that played into that change of plans, I nearly had an anxiety attack. Good thing I have really good friends who understand and are willing to help me out! On my way back to where I was staying the night, which was 2 hours away, I had myself a good meltdown. I'm pretty sure I cried for a good hour and a half of the 2 hour drive. Sure did sleep good that night lol. Like with many autistic meltdowns, people have to understand that it's not just one thing that sets them off. It's an accumulation of things that pile up and eventually become to much to handle, leading to overstimulation or feeling overwhelmed.
One of the best things about that weekend, though, was I got to meet some of Erin's other "sisters". They were some pretty amazing women :) I found it easy to talk to them, which is saying something for a person on the autism spectrum. I don't really know what else I was expecting though LOL. It's almost like there was this automatic acceptance of each other. Like, we didn't even know one another but since Erin was our friend, we were friends too. I liked that because I feel like I don't get it very often from people I've just met. For them, my past didn't matter. It didn't matter if I had bipolar disorder or autism. It didn't matter if I did things differently or that my social skills were a little lax. They accepted me as a friend and "sister" anyway. Also, I felt I could just be myself around all of them without having to try so hard to be "socially acceptable" or "normal" or "typical". Pick your term. Sometimes when I meet new people or am around certain people, I feel like I have to try too hard. Then there are those that I know I can just relax and be myself (You know who you are LOL). Also, I have to give some credit here. I was thinking about it, and I realized just how easy it was for me to talk to those women that weekend. Part of that had to do with their personalities, but part of it had to do with my going through RUSH. Going through RUSH really brought me out of my shell and gave me confidence I didn't have before. I realized that if I hadn't gone through RUSH, I may not have talked so openly with those women that weekend. I'd have been happy to keep myself, or I'd have been afraid to open myself up to people I didn't know. However, after going through a process like RUSH where you're meeting new people all the time, meeting a couple of new people that weekend was a breeze! Lol Also, being in club has taught me that opening up to people won't kill me haha. Some people are willing to listen, and they can be trusted. Just because your past is a little rocky doesn't mean you're unlovable. Just because you're a little different doesn't mean people won't accept you.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Weddings are great and fun, but they can be tiring and a little overwhelming too...even if you're not the one getting married lol. I knew going into that weekend that I would be around a lot of people I didn't know. I knew that although I was going to Erin's wedding, I wouldn't get to spend a lot of time with just her. I knew that I'd be sleeping in people's houses that I didn't know. There were just so many things that I just wasn't sure of, and that made me nervous. However, I was super excited because I was getting to see Erin, whom I don't get to see very often. I was happy to get to be a part of this joyous occasion in her life.
It was hard though. I'll admit that while it was a great time and I would do it again, I was glad to go home at the end of the weekend. The weekend was full of running around, people I didn't know, no alone time to process things, changes in plans, and high emotions. By Saturday night, I was just a bit overwhelmed haha. Saturday is when plans changed. Hey, it happens. However, by that time, I was tired (physically and emotionally), hungry, and completely overstimulated. With other factors that played into that change of plans, I nearly had an anxiety attack. Good thing I have really good friends who understand and are willing to help me out! On my way back to where I was staying the night, which was 2 hours away, I had myself a good meltdown. I'm pretty sure I cried for a good hour and a half of the 2 hour drive. Sure did sleep good that night lol. Like with many autistic meltdowns, people have to understand that it's not just one thing that sets them off. It's an accumulation of things that pile up and eventually become to much to handle, leading to overstimulation or feeling overwhelmed.
One of the best things about that weekend, though, was I got to meet some of Erin's other "sisters". They were some pretty amazing women :) I found it easy to talk to them, which is saying something for a person on the autism spectrum. I don't really know what else I was expecting though LOL. It's almost like there was this automatic acceptance of each other. Like, we didn't even know one another but since Erin was our friend, we were friends too. I liked that because I feel like I don't get it very often from people I've just met. For them, my past didn't matter. It didn't matter if I had bipolar disorder or autism. It didn't matter if I did things differently or that my social skills were a little lax. They accepted me as a friend and "sister" anyway. Also, I felt I could just be myself around all of them without having to try so hard to be "socially acceptable" or "normal" or "typical". Pick your term. Sometimes when I meet new people or am around certain people, I feel like I have to try too hard. Then there are those that I know I can just relax and be myself (You know who you are LOL). Also, I have to give some credit here. I was thinking about it, and I realized just how easy it was for me to talk to those women that weekend. Part of that had to do with their personalities, but part of it had to do with my going through RUSH. Going through RUSH really brought me out of my shell and gave me confidence I didn't have before. I realized that if I hadn't gone through RUSH, I may not have talked so openly with those women that weekend. I'd have been happy to keep myself, or I'd have been afraid to open myself up to people I didn't know. However, after going through a process like RUSH where you're meeting new people all the time, meeting a couple of new people that weekend was a breeze! Lol Also, being in club has taught me that opening up to people won't kill me haha. Some people are willing to listen, and they can be trusted. Just because your past is a little rocky doesn't mean you're unlovable. Just because you're a little different doesn't mean people won't accept you.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Taking Autism on the Road
So this week was my spring break. It's been nice to have the time off from school and work. On Tuesday, my mom, my aunt, and I traveled to Dallas to visit my uncle. He is getting ready to move down here closer to us so we went to help him sort through some of the stuff in his house.
We drove down there to Dallas, which was fine with me. I love long car rides. I didn't always like riding in the car, but that's another topic for a different day lol. Now, I can ride in the car for hours and not say a word. As long as I have music to listen to, I can slip into my own little world and be fine the whole trip. I'm not sure what it is about riding in the car that's so hypnotizing for me. Maybe it's just the motion of the car itself. Maybe it's because I like to watch the scenery go by outside my window and change as we make our way into different landscapes. Maybe it's just because I love music and listening to it makes me happy. Maybe it's because I have a very good imagination, and the only thing I need to keep me entertained is my mind. For whatever reason, it means you may not hear a sound out of me for hours at a time in the car. Don't get me wrong: if other people are talking to me, playing games, singing, stuff like that, I'll join in. Most of the time, though, I'm doing my own thing. I hardly ever sleep in the car either. The only time I do is if I'm drop-dead tired. Other than that, I stay awake and pretty quiet.
It's actually kind of nice. Long car rides usually means a big trip, vacation, or something special like that. While those things are nice and fun, they can require a lot of energy from an introverted, autistic person like me. The car ride going to the place is important because it'll be the last personal time I get for a while. You know, to just be with myself and my thoughts. It also helps me prepare for the time ahead that'll be spent with other people. The car ride back home is also a good time to be "by myself". I can wind down from the trip and process everything that happened before I get back home.
So if you ever ride in the car with me and I don't talk to you, please don't be offended. I'm just letting my mind process things and rest. I'm probably off in my own little world and don't even notice other people. If you want to talk or play a game or anything like that, say something. Most of the time, I'll be happy to oblige if you ask. I'm just not that much of an initiator haha.
We drove down there to Dallas, which was fine with me. I love long car rides. I didn't always like riding in the car, but that's another topic for a different day lol. Now, I can ride in the car for hours and not say a word. As long as I have music to listen to, I can slip into my own little world and be fine the whole trip. I'm not sure what it is about riding in the car that's so hypnotizing for me. Maybe it's just the motion of the car itself. Maybe it's because I like to watch the scenery go by outside my window and change as we make our way into different landscapes. Maybe it's just because I love music and listening to it makes me happy. Maybe it's because I have a very good imagination, and the only thing I need to keep me entertained is my mind. For whatever reason, it means you may not hear a sound out of me for hours at a time in the car. Don't get me wrong: if other people are talking to me, playing games, singing, stuff like that, I'll join in. Most of the time, though, I'm doing my own thing. I hardly ever sleep in the car either. The only time I do is if I'm drop-dead tired. Other than that, I stay awake and pretty quiet.
It's actually kind of nice. Long car rides usually means a big trip, vacation, or something special like that. While those things are nice and fun, they can require a lot of energy from an introverted, autistic person like me. The car ride going to the place is important because it'll be the last personal time I get for a while. You know, to just be with myself and my thoughts. It also helps me prepare for the time ahead that'll be spent with other people. The car ride back home is also a good time to be "by myself". I can wind down from the trip and process everything that happened before I get back home.
So if you ever ride in the car with me and I don't talk to you, please don't be offended. I'm just letting my mind process things and rest. I'm probably off in my own little world and don't even notice other people. If you want to talk or play a game or anything like that, say something. Most of the time, I'll be happy to oblige if you ask. I'm just not that much of an initiator haha.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Taking Autism to See Brad Paisley
So those of you who are friends with me on Facebook know that I went to see Brad Paisley last night! I posted several things about the concert, and it was all I could talk about in the weeks leading up to it. It was an amazing show! I'll just start from the beginning.
We got there early to make sure we wouldn't have to wait very long in the ticket line. It was a good decision. When we got there, there were already people lined up outside the arena. As we were standing in line, a man that takes pictures of events for the newspaper took our picture! He said he liked my blue hair haha. See, it does good to stand out sometimes. They finally let us in, and we went to find our seats. I decided I wanted a t-shirt so we went on an adventure to the merchandise stand. Finally got to the front and found out the one I wanted, they were out of my size. Typical. So Tommy bought some things, and we went to the main merchandise stand to see if they had any. No luck, but I did find another shirt I liked in my size. I ended up liking it better anyway, and it was cheaper. All around win lol. Parmalee was opening for Brad Paisley, and they had just started to play when we went to sit back down. They were great!
Then Brad Paisley came on! It was amazing! He had a huge screen behind him and four other screens onstage showing videos and cool images as he sang his songs. He's such a cool guy too. He was talking to us, joking around, making videos on fans phones. At one point, he stopped, took off one of his guitars, signed it, and held it out towards the crowd. After looking around for a minute, he gave it to this little girl that was standing in the pit by the stage. It was so sweet! At the end of his show, he took off his hat and gave it to a little boy that was also standing in the pit. It was an amazing show, and I loved it!
Now, let me tell you about the concert from the autism perspective. There were a lot of people there. The place was packed. I was trying so hard not to brush up against people or touch people. It was hard to do. I felt very crowded. As we would walk through the crowds, I would hold on to Tommy like my life depended on it. God forbid we accidentally get separated, and I'm left to fend off all those people by myself. Half of them were drunk for one thing. And where there is a lot of people, there is a lot of noise. Just the people by themselves, before the concert started, were making so much noise. It was crazy!
When the concert started, that's when the real noise began. I don't know if other people notice this but when music is really loud, I can hear the speakers whine and crackle. Maybe other people just ignore it. I'm not sure. But I can't. I heard it throughout the whole concert. By the time we left, my ears had that feeling they have when you're up in an airplane. You know, when they need to pop because they're all stuffed up. Then there's the lights. Oh, the lights! I have a major problem with strobe lights. I think it may have to do with the fact that I get chronic migraines or something. I'm not quite sure. However, when I'm around strobe lights, I get very dizzy, disoriented, and very sick to my stomach. I've come close to throwing up a couple of times and passing out once. It's awful! And concerts love using strobe lights. Every time they go off, I have to close my eyes. It's pretty much an involuntary action now. Strobe lights go off = eyes closed!
The concert was great, and I had lots of fun. But I also remember why I don't go to a lot of them LOL. If I am at a concert, it's probably for someone I really like. Since concerts take so much energy and work out of me, you have to be pretty special in my book for me to get out of my comfort zone and attend. Brad Paisley: totally worth it!
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
We got there early to make sure we wouldn't have to wait very long in the ticket line. It was a good decision. When we got there, there were already people lined up outside the arena. As we were standing in line, a man that takes pictures of events for the newspaper took our picture! He said he liked my blue hair haha. See, it does good to stand out sometimes. They finally let us in, and we went to find our seats. I decided I wanted a t-shirt so we went on an adventure to the merchandise stand. Finally got to the front and found out the one I wanted, they were out of my size. Typical. So Tommy bought some things, and we went to the main merchandise stand to see if they had any. No luck, but I did find another shirt I liked in my size. I ended up liking it better anyway, and it was cheaper. All around win lol. Parmalee was opening for Brad Paisley, and they had just started to play when we went to sit back down. They were great!
Then Brad Paisley came on! It was amazing! He had a huge screen behind him and four other screens onstage showing videos and cool images as he sang his songs. He's such a cool guy too. He was talking to us, joking around, making videos on fans phones. At one point, he stopped, took off one of his guitars, signed it, and held it out towards the crowd. After looking around for a minute, he gave it to this little girl that was standing in the pit by the stage. It was so sweet! At the end of his show, he took off his hat and gave it to a little boy that was also standing in the pit. It was an amazing show, and I loved it!
Now, let me tell you about the concert from the autism perspective. There were a lot of people there. The place was packed. I was trying so hard not to brush up against people or touch people. It was hard to do. I felt very crowded. As we would walk through the crowds, I would hold on to Tommy like my life depended on it. God forbid we accidentally get separated, and I'm left to fend off all those people by myself. Half of them were drunk for one thing. And where there is a lot of people, there is a lot of noise. Just the people by themselves, before the concert started, were making so much noise. It was crazy!
When the concert started, that's when the real noise began. I don't know if other people notice this but when music is really loud, I can hear the speakers whine and crackle. Maybe other people just ignore it. I'm not sure. But I can't. I heard it throughout the whole concert. By the time we left, my ears had that feeling they have when you're up in an airplane. You know, when they need to pop because they're all stuffed up. Then there's the lights. Oh, the lights! I have a major problem with strobe lights. I think it may have to do with the fact that I get chronic migraines or something. I'm not quite sure. However, when I'm around strobe lights, I get very dizzy, disoriented, and very sick to my stomach. I've come close to throwing up a couple of times and passing out once. It's awful! And concerts love using strobe lights. Every time they go off, I have to close my eyes. It's pretty much an involuntary action now. Strobe lights go off = eyes closed!
The concert was great, and I had lots of fun. But I also remember why I don't go to a lot of them LOL. If I am at a concert, it's probably for someone I really like. Since concerts take so much energy and work out of me, you have to be pretty special in my book for me to get out of my comfort zone and attend. Brad Paisley: totally worth it!
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Sunday, March 1, 2015
A Change in Plans: Tim Hawkins
So today, I was supposed to write about my experience at the Tim Hawkins concert, how great it was, and all of that. However, this nasty, unpleasant weather we've been experiencing lately preventing us from travelling :( I was very disappointed and pretty upset. Yet, it gives me the perfect opportunity to talk about how change and events like this affect people with autism. It's one of the major things we have to deal with and usually one of the defining characteristics. First, let's look at this particular day.
Tim Hawkins is one of my favorite comedians, if not one of my favorite entertainers. My friend and former roommate Amy first introduced me to him when we roomed together in college. I've liked him ever since. I've seen every DVD he's made and watch him on YouTube regularly. I've wanted to see him live, but he has never come close enough for me to travel and see him...until now. He was finally going to be close enough that I could make a day trip and see his show! I was so excited, and I bought tickets immediately. I asked my boyfriend, Tommy, to go with me, and we made plans to go. I couldn't wait! Then...the snow storm hit. Snow and ice and slush, pretty much all the stuff I hate to walk in. It made the roads horrible. Tommy said he wasn't going to go. I kept saying that I was still going to go whether he did or not. I kept looking at weather and traffic reports trying to convince him and myself that the roads weren't that bad, that it would be safe to travel. I was determined to see Tim Hawkins! It even turned into a little argument between he and I. I was getting defensive, and, honestly, I was just being stubborn. It took talking to my parents to convince me not to go. They were having to drive on the roads and said they were horrible. I ended up feeling bad for how I snapped at Tommy, and I apologized.
Now, you have to understand, my stubbornness wasn't because I wasn't getting my way. I mean, sure I really wanted to see Tim Hawkins, and I was really upset that I wasn't going to be able to. However, it was more to do with the fact that I had planned something, looked forward to it for weeks, and then it suddenly wasn't happening anymore. It may not have been so bad if I had known a couple of days in advance that we weren't going to be able to go. This change in plans, however, happened the day of. Autistic's brains take longer to process information. When you spring change on us, it's like trying to throw a car into reverse while driving. It's impossible. Our brains don't work that way. To put a car in reverse, you have to come to a stop first. Our brains kind of work the same way. I handle change better when I'm allowed to stop, think about it, have time to process it, and then accept it. If this doesn't happen, I get very anxious. This anxiety is what causes the "stubbornness", defensiveness, snappiness, lashing out, sometimes even crying. It just depends on how upset it makes me, how high the anxiety is.
So please, be sensitive and understanding. Change is hard for people with autism, and it takes hard work for us to accept it. Don't spring it on us. If possible, give us a heads up when change is going to happen. That way, we can take the time we need to process it and accept it better. Less anxiety for everyone :)
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Tim Hawkins is one of my favorite comedians, if not one of my favorite entertainers. My friend and former roommate Amy first introduced me to him when we roomed together in college. I've liked him ever since. I've seen every DVD he's made and watch him on YouTube regularly. I've wanted to see him live, but he has never come close enough for me to travel and see him...until now. He was finally going to be close enough that I could make a day trip and see his show! I was so excited, and I bought tickets immediately. I asked my boyfriend, Tommy, to go with me, and we made plans to go. I couldn't wait! Then...the snow storm hit. Snow and ice and slush, pretty much all the stuff I hate to walk in. It made the roads horrible. Tommy said he wasn't going to go. I kept saying that I was still going to go whether he did or not. I kept looking at weather and traffic reports trying to convince him and myself that the roads weren't that bad, that it would be safe to travel. I was determined to see Tim Hawkins! It even turned into a little argument between he and I. I was getting defensive, and, honestly, I was just being stubborn. It took talking to my parents to convince me not to go. They were having to drive on the roads and said they were horrible. I ended up feeling bad for how I snapped at Tommy, and I apologized.
Now, you have to understand, my stubbornness wasn't because I wasn't getting my way. I mean, sure I really wanted to see Tim Hawkins, and I was really upset that I wasn't going to be able to. However, it was more to do with the fact that I had planned something, looked forward to it for weeks, and then it suddenly wasn't happening anymore. It may not have been so bad if I had known a couple of days in advance that we weren't going to be able to go. This change in plans, however, happened the day of. Autistic's brains take longer to process information. When you spring change on us, it's like trying to throw a car into reverse while driving. It's impossible. Our brains don't work that way. To put a car in reverse, you have to come to a stop first. Our brains kind of work the same way. I handle change better when I'm allowed to stop, think about it, have time to process it, and then accept it. If this doesn't happen, I get very anxious. This anxiety is what causes the "stubbornness", defensiveness, snappiness, lashing out, sometimes even crying. It just depends on how upset it makes me, how high the anxiety is.
So please, be sensitive and understanding. Change is hard for people with autism, and it takes hard work for us to accept it. Don't spring it on us. If possible, give us a heads up when change is going to happen. That way, we can take the time we need to process it and accept it better. Less anxiety for everyone :)
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Autism on the Stage: Master Follies
I realize I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. My life has been so busy since I've joined this social club, and it's been a blast! Two weeks ago, I was involved in Master Follies. We had shows to do that whole week, but the biggest ones were that weekend. We had been practicing for weeks, getting ready for these shows. Sometimes it felt longer than it actually was. We were usually running on little sleep, and we were around each other for hours at a time every day. It was great, and it was tiring at the same time lol.
The shows were amazing! I admit I would get a little nervous, but it was always more of an excited nervous. I love being onstage and performing for people. I like working hard for something, practicing it, and getting to show it off. I love the applause and praises people give you when they love what they've seen. I love being able to dress up in costumes and step into a different role, to be someone else for a time. It's fun and and entertaining. I also did One Act in high school and junior high. I loved it. I'm pretty competitive, which made One Act and follies extra fun for me lol. I may not be the best one up there on the stage, but I love doing it.
You might be thinking, "Performing? Aren't people with autism introverted and shy?" Sometimes and in some situation, yes we are. However, like I said, something happens when I get up on that stage. I'm not me. I get to be someone else. Interactions on stage are scripted, and I've been working with the cast for weeks or months before performances. I know them, and they are likely my friends. I don't know everyone in the audience, but that's ok. They only watch me, and I don't have to interact with them directly while I'm onstage. Also, on a side note, I'm horrible at improv. If I'm going to be onstage, it's going to be in a scripted performance where I know what I'm supposed to do next. If everyone on stage is supposed to improv, I'm screwed. I stink at coming up with things on the spot because I can't process things that fast.
Through it all, follies was an amazing experience. Seeing as how this is the only follies show I will ever do, I'm so thankful to have been a part of it. It helped me grow closer to my LOA sisters and Kyodai brothers, meet some of our alumni, and experience some really great traditions. I only wish I could be around longer!
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
The shows were amazing! I admit I would get a little nervous, but it was always more of an excited nervous. I love being onstage and performing for people. I like working hard for something, practicing it, and getting to show it off. I love the applause and praises people give you when they love what they've seen. I love being able to dress up in costumes and step into a different role, to be someone else for a time. It's fun and and entertaining. I also did One Act in high school and junior high. I loved it. I'm pretty competitive, which made One Act and follies extra fun for me lol. I may not be the best one up there on the stage, but I love doing it.
You might be thinking, "Performing? Aren't people with autism introverted and shy?" Sometimes and in some situation, yes we are. However, like I said, something happens when I get up on that stage. I'm not me. I get to be someone else. Interactions on stage are scripted, and I've been working with the cast for weeks or months before performances. I know them, and they are likely my friends. I don't know everyone in the audience, but that's ok. They only watch me, and I don't have to interact with them directly while I'm onstage. Also, on a side note, I'm horrible at improv. If I'm going to be onstage, it's going to be in a scripted performance where I know what I'm supposed to do next. If everyone on stage is supposed to improv, I'm screwed. I stink at coming up with things on the spot because I can't process things that fast.
Through it all, follies was an amazing experience. Seeing as how this is the only follies show I will ever do, I'm so thankful to have been a part of it. It helped me grow closer to my LOA sisters and Kyodai brothers, meet some of our alumni, and experience some really great traditions. I only wish I could be around longer!
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Emotional Sponge
So I have learned something new about myself recently. I mean, I've probably always been like this, but I'm just now starting to realize and understand what it is and what it means. I don't know if other people with autism are like this, but I am.
I am what I call an emotional sponge. The strongest emotion in the room is the one I soak up, even if I don't mean to or know what it is. If it's strongly happy, then I'm happy. If it's strongly sad, then I'm sad. If it's strongly angry, then I'm angry. You may think, "Well everyone does that." In a sense, yes they do. However, when it happens to me, it usually happens subconsciously. My mood will change, and I won't even know why. For example, I was hanging out with a group of friends one time. I didn't know it at the time, but there was some tension between two of them about something that had happened earlier. They said nothing about it and tried to act normal. However, the longer we hung out, the more tense and anxious I started to feel. I was even starting to feel angry and started to shut down. I didn't understand why I was feeling that way until I learned what was going on between my two friends. It bewildered me that even though I had no idea what was going on, I still felt all those emotions. It's like I was being empathetic without even knowing it.
Another thing that comes with being an emotional sponge is the way I listen to people who are hurting or upset. Let me explain. I've just recently paid attention to this as well. When I listen to people share a story that makes them cry or involves any kind of strong emotion, I tend to (again) soak it all in. For example, I recently had to share my testimony along with some of the other girls. I cried some while giving mine and cried a little when the others shared theirs. Compared to everyone else, though, I hardly cried. I sat there with what felt like a flat expression on my face, hugged my knees to my chest, and just listened. Only when everyone was finished did I break down into choking sobs. It almost felt like I was absorbing everyone's hurt, all their negative emotions for them, and letting them out in one big cry. I understand I can't really do that. Sometimes, I wish I could, but that's what it feels like for me.
Being an emotional sponge with autism is really hard sometimes. It's hard for me to identify and understand emotions when I know what's going on in the first place. When I don't know what's going on but I start feeling all these emotions anyway, it can be really confusing! Now I'm not saying I'm totally clueless. However, if I'm getting an angry vibe or something, I'm going to be trying to figure out what's going on. That may not be very easy. Now, is it always a bad thing? Absolutely not. It can be good because it causes me to feel how others feel, empathy. It allows me to (hopefully) identify those feelings and try to do something to help. Now that I know this happens to me, maybe I can work on improving it. Maybe I can start trying to understand it better and use it as an advantage. Maybe it will help me be even better at empathizing. Not saying I'm horrible at that, but I could be better. Getting better all the time at this social stuff ;)
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
I am what I call an emotional sponge. The strongest emotion in the room is the one I soak up, even if I don't mean to or know what it is. If it's strongly happy, then I'm happy. If it's strongly sad, then I'm sad. If it's strongly angry, then I'm angry. You may think, "Well everyone does that." In a sense, yes they do. However, when it happens to me, it usually happens subconsciously. My mood will change, and I won't even know why. For example, I was hanging out with a group of friends one time. I didn't know it at the time, but there was some tension between two of them about something that had happened earlier. They said nothing about it and tried to act normal. However, the longer we hung out, the more tense and anxious I started to feel. I was even starting to feel angry and started to shut down. I didn't understand why I was feeling that way until I learned what was going on between my two friends. It bewildered me that even though I had no idea what was going on, I still felt all those emotions. It's like I was being empathetic without even knowing it.
Another thing that comes with being an emotional sponge is the way I listen to people who are hurting or upset. Let me explain. I've just recently paid attention to this as well. When I listen to people share a story that makes them cry or involves any kind of strong emotion, I tend to (again) soak it all in. For example, I recently had to share my testimony along with some of the other girls. I cried some while giving mine and cried a little when the others shared theirs. Compared to everyone else, though, I hardly cried. I sat there with what felt like a flat expression on my face, hugged my knees to my chest, and just listened. Only when everyone was finished did I break down into choking sobs. It almost felt like I was absorbing everyone's hurt, all their negative emotions for them, and letting them out in one big cry. I understand I can't really do that. Sometimes, I wish I could, but that's what it feels like for me.
Being an emotional sponge with autism is really hard sometimes. It's hard for me to identify and understand emotions when I know what's going on in the first place. When I don't know what's going on but I start feeling all these emotions anyway, it can be really confusing! Now I'm not saying I'm totally clueless. However, if I'm getting an angry vibe or something, I'm going to be trying to figure out what's going on. That may not be very easy. Now, is it always a bad thing? Absolutely not. It can be good because it causes me to feel how others feel, empathy. It allows me to (hopefully) identify those feelings and try to do something to help. Now that I know this happens to me, maybe I can work on improving it. Maybe I can start trying to understand it better and use it as an advantage. Maybe it will help me be even better at empathizing. Not saying I'm horrible at that, but I could be better. Getting better all the time at this social stuff ;)
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Autism and the Holidays
The holidays can be a wonderful time with fun, family and friends, games, food, travelling, and gifts. Many people get time off of work, and students get time away from school. They welcome this time to get to relax and do whatever they please. While I love all of these things too, let add to it what it's like for a person with autism during the holidays.
Number 1 thing is I HATE SHOPPING!!!!! I don't like going to the store anyway, on any normal day. However, during the holidays, forget about it. When it all comes down to it, you may not get a present if I couldn't brave going into the store. It's not that I don't love you or don't want to get you anything; it's just that I wouldn't volunteer myself for the Hunger Games. If I can find it online, bonus! I will pay a little extra for shipping and handling. I know what you're thinking, "Everyone hates shopping during the holidays." No, you don't understand. Going shopping during the holidays means at least 3 times as many people as normal pressing into the same sized store. That increases the chances of people touching me, squishing me, bumping up against me. Not okay. Also, I'm a bit claustrophobic. I like enough space to move around in, and I don't like to feel squished and boxed in. Plus, more people equals A LOT more noise. Can you say over-stimulation? Then in all this mess of navigating through masses of people and noise, I still have to actually look for gifts for people. That takes some focus as well. I feel like I'm not giving all my thoughts into picking good presents because my mind has to deal with all the other stimulation that it can't block out.
Right now, I'm on a break from school and work. On one hand, the break has been nice and I needed it. On the other hand, I'm completely off schedule now. It's difficult for me to fall asleep before 2 am, which isn't going to be fun in 2 weeks when I'll have to be at work at 8 am. People with autism often do better with structure and scheduled time. That's why, even though I complain about it sometimes, I actually function well when school and work are going on.
I love, love, love being with my family during the holidays, but I noticed I couldn't keep conversation going the whole time. On Christmas Eve, we always go to my great aunt's house for lunch/dinner. I started out talking to everyone, eating, joking around, etc. After a while, I ended up playing a handheld video game and kind of zoning out. It's not their fault; they're awesome people. Love them to death. I just can only do so much socialization at one time. After that little break, I was good for the rest of the time. Went out and talked some more.
While the holidays can be challenging to someone with autism, they are still so wonderful. I have a wonderful, supportive family that I got to spend lots of time with. I ate tons of good, home-cooked food. Being a picky eater, you've got to love when you get to eat all your favorite foods LOL. Also, one thing I've always loved is Christmas decorations. We used to drive around when I was a kid and look at all the lights and decorations. Very stimulating for someone with autism. I hope you all had a very merry Christmas! Thanks to all of you who have read my blog over the years and to those who I have picked up along this year! Happy 2015!
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Number 1 thing is I HATE SHOPPING!!!!! I don't like going to the store anyway, on any normal day. However, during the holidays, forget about it. When it all comes down to it, you may not get a present if I couldn't brave going into the store. It's not that I don't love you or don't want to get you anything; it's just that I wouldn't volunteer myself for the Hunger Games. If I can find it online, bonus! I will pay a little extra for shipping and handling. I know what you're thinking, "Everyone hates shopping during the holidays." No, you don't understand. Going shopping during the holidays means at least 3 times as many people as normal pressing into the same sized store. That increases the chances of people touching me, squishing me, bumping up against me. Not okay. Also, I'm a bit claustrophobic. I like enough space to move around in, and I don't like to feel squished and boxed in. Plus, more people equals A LOT more noise. Can you say over-stimulation? Then in all this mess of navigating through masses of people and noise, I still have to actually look for gifts for people. That takes some focus as well. I feel like I'm not giving all my thoughts into picking good presents because my mind has to deal with all the other stimulation that it can't block out.
Right now, I'm on a break from school and work. On one hand, the break has been nice and I needed it. On the other hand, I'm completely off schedule now. It's difficult for me to fall asleep before 2 am, which isn't going to be fun in 2 weeks when I'll have to be at work at 8 am. People with autism often do better with structure and scheduled time. That's why, even though I complain about it sometimes, I actually function well when school and work are going on.
I love, love, love being with my family during the holidays, but I noticed I couldn't keep conversation going the whole time. On Christmas Eve, we always go to my great aunt's house for lunch/dinner. I started out talking to everyone, eating, joking around, etc. After a while, I ended up playing a handheld video game and kind of zoning out. It's not their fault; they're awesome people. Love them to death. I just can only do so much socialization at one time. After that little break, I was good for the rest of the time. Went out and talked some more.
While the holidays can be challenging to someone with autism, they are still so wonderful. I have a wonderful, supportive family that I got to spend lots of time with. I ate tons of good, home-cooked food. Being a picky eater, you've got to love when you get to eat all your favorite foods LOL. Also, one thing I've always loved is Christmas decorations. We used to drive around when I was a kid and look at all the lights and decorations. Very stimulating for someone with autism. I hope you all had a very merry Christmas! Thanks to all of you who have read my blog over the years and to those who I have picked up along this year! Happy 2015!
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)