So this week was my spring break. It's been nice to have the time off from school and work. On Tuesday, my mom, my aunt, and I traveled to Dallas to visit my uncle. He is getting ready to move down here closer to us so we went to help him sort through some of the stuff in his house.
We drove down there to Dallas, which was fine with me. I love long car rides. I didn't always like riding in the car, but that's another topic for a different day lol. Now, I can ride in the car for hours and not say a word. As long as I have music to listen to, I can slip into my own little world and be fine the whole trip. I'm not sure what it is about riding in the car that's so hypnotizing for me. Maybe it's just the motion of the car itself. Maybe it's because I like to watch the scenery go by outside my window and change as we make our way into different landscapes. Maybe it's just because I love music and listening to it makes me happy. Maybe it's because I have a very good imagination, and the only thing I need to keep me entertained is my mind. For whatever reason, it means you may not hear a sound out of me for hours at a time in the car. Don't get me wrong: if other people are talking to me, playing games, singing, stuff like that, I'll join in. Most of the time, though, I'm doing my own thing. I hardly ever sleep in the car either. The only time I do is if I'm drop-dead tired. Other than that, I stay awake and pretty quiet.
It's actually kind of nice. Long car rides usually means a big trip, vacation, or something special like that. While those things are nice and fun, they can require a lot of energy from an introverted, autistic person like me. The car ride going to the place is important because it'll be the last personal time I get for a while. You know, to just be with myself and my thoughts. It also helps me prepare for the time ahead that'll be spent with other people. The car ride back home is also a good time to be "by myself". I can wind down from the trip and process everything that happened before I get back home.
So if you ever ride in the car with me and I don't talk to you, please don't be offended. I'm just letting my mind process things and rest. I'm probably off in my own little world and don't even notice other people. If you want to talk or play a game or anything like that, say something. Most of the time, I'll be happy to oblige if you ask. I'm just not that much of an initiator haha.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Taking Autism to See Brad Paisley
So those of you who are friends with me on Facebook know that I went to see Brad Paisley last night! I posted several things about the concert, and it was all I could talk about in the weeks leading up to it. It was an amazing show! I'll just start from the beginning.
We got there early to make sure we wouldn't have to wait very long in the ticket line. It was a good decision. When we got there, there were already people lined up outside the arena. As we were standing in line, a man that takes pictures of events for the newspaper took our picture! He said he liked my blue hair haha. See, it does good to stand out sometimes. They finally let us in, and we went to find our seats. I decided I wanted a t-shirt so we went on an adventure to the merchandise stand. Finally got to the front and found out the one I wanted, they were out of my size. Typical. So Tommy bought some things, and we went to the main merchandise stand to see if they had any. No luck, but I did find another shirt I liked in my size. I ended up liking it better anyway, and it was cheaper. All around win lol. Parmalee was opening for Brad Paisley, and they had just started to play when we went to sit back down. They were great!
Then Brad Paisley came on! It was amazing! He had a huge screen behind him and four other screens onstage showing videos and cool images as he sang his songs. He's such a cool guy too. He was talking to us, joking around, making videos on fans phones. At one point, he stopped, took off one of his guitars, signed it, and held it out towards the crowd. After looking around for a minute, he gave it to this little girl that was standing in the pit by the stage. It was so sweet! At the end of his show, he took off his hat and gave it to a little boy that was also standing in the pit. It was an amazing show, and I loved it!
Now, let me tell you about the concert from the autism perspective. There were a lot of people there. The place was packed. I was trying so hard not to brush up against people or touch people. It was hard to do. I felt very crowded. As we would walk through the crowds, I would hold on to Tommy like my life depended on it. God forbid we accidentally get separated, and I'm left to fend off all those people by myself. Half of them were drunk for one thing. And where there is a lot of people, there is a lot of noise. Just the people by themselves, before the concert started, were making so much noise. It was crazy!
When the concert started, that's when the real noise began. I don't know if other people notice this but when music is really loud, I can hear the speakers whine and crackle. Maybe other people just ignore it. I'm not sure. But I can't. I heard it throughout the whole concert. By the time we left, my ears had that feeling they have when you're up in an airplane. You know, when they need to pop because they're all stuffed up. Then there's the lights. Oh, the lights! I have a major problem with strobe lights. I think it may have to do with the fact that I get chronic migraines or something. I'm not quite sure. However, when I'm around strobe lights, I get very dizzy, disoriented, and very sick to my stomach. I've come close to throwing up a couple of times and passing out once. It's awful! And concerts love using strobe lights. Every time they go off, I have to close my eyes. It's pretty much an involuntary action now. Strobe lights go off = eyes closed!
The concert was great, and I had lots of fun. But I also remember why I don't go to a lot of them LOL. If I am at a concert, it's probably for someone I really like. Since concerts take so much energy and work out of me, you have to be pretty special in my book for me to get out of my comfort zone and attend. Brad Paisley: totally worth it!
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
We got there early to make sure we wouldn't have to wait very long in the ticket line. It was a good decision. When we got there, there were already people lined up outside the arena. As we were standing in line, a man that takes pictures of events for the newspaper took our picture! He said he liked my blue hair haha. See, it does good to stand out sometimes. They finally let us in, and we went to find our seats. I decided I wanted a t-shirt so we went on an adventure to the merchandise stand. Finally got to the front and found out the one I wanted, they were out of my size. Typical. So Tommy bought some things, and we went to the main merchandise stand to see if they had any. No luck, but I did find another shirt I liked in my size. I ended up liking it better anyway, and it was cheaper. All around win lol. Parmalee was opening for Brad Paisley, and they had just started to play when we went to sit back down. They were great!
Then Brad Paisley came on! It was amazing! He had a huge screen behind him and four other screens onstage showing videos and cool images as he sang his songs. He's such a cool guy too. He was talking to us, joking around, making videos on fans phones. At one point, he stopped, took off one of his guitars, signed it, and held it out towards the crowd. After looking around for a minute, he gave it to this little girl that was standing in the pit by the stage. It was so sweet! At the end of his show, he took off his hat and gave it to a little boy that was also standing in the pit. It was an amazing show, and I loved it!
Now, let me tell you about the concert from the autism perspective. There were a lot of people there. The place was packed. I was trying so hard not to brush up against people or touch people. It was hard to do. I felt very crowded. As we would walk through the crowds, I would hold on to Tommy like my life depended on it. God forbid we accidentally get separated, and I'm left to fend off all those people by myself. Half of them were drunk for one thing. And where there is a lot of people, there is a lot of noise. Just the people by themselves, before the concert started, were making so much noise. It was crazy!
When the concert started, that's when the real noise began. I don't know if other people notice this but when music is really loud, I can hear the speakers whine and crackle. Maybe other people just ignore it. I'm not sure. But I can't. I heard it throughout the whole concert. By the time we left, my ears had that feeling they have when you're up in an airplane. You know, when they need to pop because they're all stuffed up. Then there's the lights. Oh, the lights! I have a major problem with strobe lights. I think it may have to do with the fact that I get chronic migraines or something. I'm not quite sure. However, when I'm around strobe lights, I get very dizzy, disoriented, and very sick to my stomach. I've come close to throwing up a couple of times and passing out once. It's awful! And concerts love using strobe lights. Every time they go off, I have to close my eyes. It's pretty much an involuntary action now. Strobe lights go off = eyes closed!
The concert was great, and I had lots of fun. But I also remember why I don't go to a lot of them LOL. If I am at a concert, it's probably for someone I really like. Since concerts take so much energy and work out of me, you have to be pretty special in my book for me to get out of my comfort zone and attend. Brad Paisley: totally worth it!
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Sunday, March 1, 2015
A Change in Plans: Tim Hawkins
So today, I was supposed to write about my experience at the Tim Hawkins concert, how great it was, and all of that. However, this nasty, unpleasant weather we've been experiencing lately preventing us from travelling :( I was very disappointed and pretty upset. Yet, it gives me the perfect opportunity to talk about how change and events like this affect people with autism. It's one of the major things we have to deal with and usually one of the defining characteristics. First, let's look at this particular day.
Tim Hawkins is one of my favorite comedians, if not one of my favorite entertainers. My friend and former roommate Amy first introduced me to him when we roomed together in college. I've liked him ever since. I've seen every DVD he's made and watch him on YouTube regularly. I've wanted to see him live, but he has never come close enough for me to travel and see him...until now. He was finally going to be close enough that I could make a day trip and see his show! I was so excited, and I bought tickets immediately. I asked my boyfriend, Tommy, to go with me, and we made plans to go. I couldn't wait! Then...the snow storm hit. Snow and ice and slush, pretty much all the stuff I hate to walk in. It made the roads horrible. Tommy said he wasn't going to go. I kept saying that I was still going to go whether he did or not. I kept looking at weather and traffic reports trying to convince him and myself that the roads weren't that bad, that it would be safe to travel. I was determined to see Tim Hawkins! It even turned into a little argument between he and I. I was getting defensive, and, honestly, I was just being stubborn. It took talking to my parents to convince me not to go. They were having to drive on the roads and said they were horrible. I ended up feeling bad for how I snapped at Tommy, and I apologized.
Now, you have to understand, my stubbornness wasn't because I wasn't getting my way. I mean, sure I really wanted to see Tim Hawkins, and I was really upset that I wasn't going to be able to. However, it was more to do with the fact that I had planned something, looked forward to it for weeks, and then it suddenly wasn't happening anymore. It may not have been so bad if I had known a couple of days in advance that we weren't going to be able to go. This change in plans, however, happened the day of. Autistic's brains take longer to process information. When you spring change on us, it's like trying to throw a car into reverse while driving. It's impossible. Our brains don't work that way. To put a car in reverse, you have to come to a stop first. Our brains kind of work the same way. I handle change better when I'm allowed to stop, think about it, have time to process it, and then accept it. If this doesn't happen, I get very anxious. This anxiety is what causes the "stubbornness", defensiveness, snappiness, lashing out, sometimes even crying. It just depends on how upset it makes me, how high the anxiety is.
So please, be sensitive and understanding. Change is hard for people with autism, and it takes hard work for us to accept it. Don't spring it on us. If possible, give us a heads up when change is going to happen. That way, we can take the time we need to process it and accept it better. Less anxiety for everyone :)
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
Tim Hawkins is one of my favorite comedians, if not one of my favorite entertainers. My friend and former roommate Amy first introduced me to him when we roomed together in college. I've liked him ever since. I've seen every DVD he's made and watch him on YouTube regularly. I've wanted to see him live, but he has never come close enough for me to travel and see him...until now. He was finally going to be close enough that I could make a day trip and see his show! I was so excited, and I bought tickets immediately. I asked my boyfriend, Tommy, to go with me, and we made plans to go. I couldn't wait! Then...the snow storm hit. Snow and ice and slush, pretty much all the stuff I hate to walk in. It made the roads horrible. Tommy said he wasn't going to go. I kept saying that I was still going to go whether he did or not. I kept looking at weather and traffic reports trying to convince him and myself that the roads weren't that bad, that it would be safe to travel. I was determined to see Tim Hawkins! It even turned into a little argument between he and I. I was getting defensive, and, honestly, I was just being stubborn. It took talking to my parents to convince me not to go. They were having to drive on the roads and said they were horrible. I ended up feeling bad for how I snapped at Tommy, and I apologized.
Now, you have to understand, my stubbornness wasn't because I wasn't getting my way. I mean, sure I really wanted to see Tim Hawkins, and I was really upset that I wasn't going to be able to. However, it was more to do with the fact that I had planned something, looked forward to it for weeks, and then it suddenly wasn't happening anymore. It may not have been so bad if I had known a couple of days in advance that we weren't going to be able to go. This change in plans, however, happened the day of. Autistic's brains take longer to process information. When you spring change on us, it's like trying to throw a car into reverse while driving. It's impossible. Our brains don't work that way. To put a car in reverse, you have to come to a stop first. Our brains kind of work the same way. I handle change better when I'm allowed to stop, think about it, have time to process it, and then accept it. If this doesn't happen, I get very anxious. This anxiety is what causes the "stubbornness", defensiveness, snappiness, lashing out, sometimes even crying. It just depends on how upset it makes me, how high the anxiety is.
So please, be sensitive and understanding. Change is hard for people with autism, and it takes hard work for us to accept it. Don't spring it on us. If possible, give us a heads up when change is going to happen. That way, we can take the time we need to process it and accept it better. Less anxiety for everyone :)
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
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