A Change in Plans: Tim Hawkins

     So today, I was supposed to write about my experience at the Tim Hawkins concert, how great it was, and all of that. However, this nasty, unpleasant weather we've been experiencing lately preventing us from travelling :( I was very disappointed and pretty upset. Yet, it gives me the perfect opportunity to talk about how change and events like this affect people with autism. It's one of the major things we have to deal with and usually one of the defining characteristics. First, let's look at this particular day.
     Tim Hawkins is one of my favorite comedians, if not one of my favorite entertainers. My friend and former roommate Amy first introduced me to him when we roomed together in college. I've liked him ever since. I've seen every DVD he's made and watch him on YouTube regularly. I've wanted to see him live, but he has never come close enough for me to travel and see him...until now. He was finally going to be close enough that I could make a day trip and see his show! I was so excited, and I bought tickets immediately. I asked my boyfriend, Tommy, to go with me, and we made plans to go. I couldn't wait! Then...the snow storm hit. Snow and ice and slush, pretty much all the stuff I hate to walk in. It made the roads horrible. Tommy said he wasn't going to go. I kept saying that I was still going to go whether he did or not. I kept looking at weather and traffic reports trying to convince him and myself that the roads weren't that bad, that it would be safe to travel. I was determined to see Tim Hawkins! It even turned into a little argument between he and I. I was getting defensive, and, honestly, I was just being stubborn. It took talking to my parents to convince me not to go. They were having to drive on the roads and said they were horrible. I ended up feeling bad for how I snapped at Tommy, and I apologized.
     Now, you have to understand, my stubbornness wasn't because I wasn't getting my way. I mean, sure I really wanted to see Tim Hawkins, and I was really upset that I wasn't going to be able to. However, it was more to do with the fact that I had planned something, looked forward to it for weeks, and then it suddenly wasn't happening anymore. It may not have been so bad if I had known a couple of days in advance that we weren't going to be able to go. This change in plans, however, happened the day of. Autistic's brains take longer to process information. When you spring change on us, it's like trying to throw a car into reverse while driving. It's impossible. Our brains don't work that way. To put a car in reverse, you have to come to a stop first. Our brains kind of work the same way. I handle change better when I'm allowed to stop, think about it, have time to process it, and then accept it. If this doesn't happen, I get very anxious. This anxiety is what causes the "stubbornness", defensiveness, snappiness, lashing out, sometimes even crying. It just depends on how upset it makes me, how high the anxiety is. 
     So please, be sensitive and understanding. Change is hard for people with autism, and it takes hard work for us to accept it. Don't spring it on us. If possible, give us a heads up when change is going to happen. That way, we can take the time we need to process it and accept it better. Less anxiety for everyone :)

"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~