One of the unwritten social rules that many people with Asperger's have trouble with is knowing boundaries. It's not that we purposely ignore boundaries or don't want to respect them. It's most likely that we don't even know what the boundaries are in the first place. People with Asperger's are pretty good rule followers. Once we know the rules and boundaries, you can pretty much count on us to respect them.
I sometimes feel that "typical" people have this radar, and they pick up on things I don't; like my radar is broken or something. "Typical" people seem to know, without being told, social boundaries. For example, they know when they've overstayed their welcome at someone's house or when it's not their place to say or do something. It can all be quite confusing actually.
That's why we need people to tell us straightforward what they expect from us. We have to be told "Yes, that's ok" or "No, you shouldn't do that". You can't just assume we know what to do. If you start assuming, we may do something you consider rude without realizing it. We don't even realize what we've done could be considered rude unless you tell us. Then again, there is less room for error if we know what the boundaries are in the first place.
However, when informing or correcting someone with Asperger's about a social situation, be understanding and gentle. We already have a hard time in social situations and trying to learn all these rules that come to others so naturally. The last thing we need is to feel bombarded or criticized or like we failed. We are the same as "typical" people when it comes to needing support, love, and encouragement. So when helping or correcting someone with Asperger syndrome, make sure it's out of love.
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
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