This is a very special blog post. The other day, I was reading my old blog posts and noticed that I wrote the first post for this blog exactly three years ago today. As I read over those old blog posts, I realized how much I've changed in those three years. I realized how much my Asperger's has changed. A lot has happened during that time.
One thing that happened shortly after September 2011 is I moved into my very own apartment and got a stable job. That was huge for me. Before that, my health kept me from working, which then meant I didn't have the money to live on my own. I've been living on my own ever since, and I've made it work. I can't say I'm completely on my own because my parents still help me out. However, I have a consistent job, and I have a place to call my own.
Another thing that has changed is my Asperger's. Three years ago, I was prone to high anxiety. I didn't really know how to go up to people and start a conversation and really had no desire to do so anyway. I was more prone to meltdowns and got overwhelmed easier. My senses were more hyper-vigilant. Sounds used to bother me a lot more. I used to be more of a picky eater. It wasn't as bad as when I was younger, but it was worse than it is now. When it came to my job working with kids, I used to get SO anxious at just the thought of having to take care of the kids by myself.
Three years later, things are a lot better. While I still deal with high anxiety at times, I'm now learning ways to manage it. I don't get overwhelmed nearly as easily anymore, and meltdowns are rare. Now, my meltdowns almost look like a normal girl having a "just because" cry lol. Obviously it's more complicated than that, but a person who didn't know me very well probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference. My overactive senses are getting better, too. Noises don't bother me as much as they used to. I don't know what I did to make that better. Maybe it was working with kids for so long haha. Speaking of working with kids, I feel like I've gotten so much better at my job. I'm not nearly as anxious when it comes to taking care of the kids by myself. I'm much more confident in myself, and my ability to do my job. I'm also getting better at eating different foods. I've become braver when it comes to trying new foods as well. I used to not even try new foods. Now I will, and I find I like a lot of things I thought I wouldn't.
Most of all, there has been a huge change in the social part of my Asperger's. If you've kept up with this blog, you'll have read my posts about my improvements with social skills. I've learned what true empathy is. I'm constantly improving my skills on the give and take of conversation. I took a huge step about a year ago and started online dating. This is huge for me because of the past I have. Now, I'm talking to a really great guy.
Most importantly, at least to me, is that I'm making new friends. Going through this process to join a social club has really brought me out of my shell. I've been working on that over the years and have gotten better at it since starting this blog. However, I feel like I've really blossomed over the last couple of weeks. I've met so many new people...and I love it! After taking a while to warm up at that first girl's night, it's becoming easier and easier to meet new people. In the past, after I got used to certain people, I would kind of stick with them in a group setting. The other night, at the second girl's night, I was braver. I still talked to the girls I already knew, but I also went up to new people and introduced myself. I've never done that as easily as I did that night! I love it!
It makes me feel good that this is getting easier because then it means people can get to know me easier. It's just the initial interaction with people that I have a hard time hurdling over. Once that's out of the way, it's easier. I'm working on it; it's getting better! People that know me best know that I'm definitely not shy and quiet. With new people, we just have to get past that first hurdle so you can get to know me and see for yourself just how cool I am ;)
"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently. I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way." ~Me~
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