A Time of Regression

     So my semester at school is coming to an end, which is really stressful.  Projects are due, grades have to be maintained, finals to worry about...it's all so crazy!  With the increasing stress comes regression into autism.  Let me explain.
     In times of regression, my autism gets worse.  Social situations are harder to be in.  Verbal communication becomes even more difficult.  I am more easily overwhelmed and overstimulated.  My repetitive behaviors come out more often and are more severe.  I need more time to myself away from other people.  I can get irritable and have meltdowns quicker as well.  Concentration and memory suffer, which is not good considering the importance of finals.  These are just some of the things that happen in regression.  It is actually a complex concept that even I'm still learning about.  It's even hard to explain to some of my friends and loved ones.  Some of them just don't understand how I can function so good some days, and then some days I can barely function at all.  However, there are a few people in my life that understand very well.  I consider them all very close friends, and I'm very grateful for their love and support.  
     Anyway, I can feel myself going down that road.  I can feel myself regressing as finals draw closer and closer.  I have more days of it being difficult to find the words to speak.  I'm having a harder time being around people that aren't close friends or family.  I have no desire or ability to meet new people at all, which our church group intern is insisting I do lately.  Staying focused in class is really difficult and remembering stuff for tests is even harder.  My already overactive senses are even more heightened, which means sensory overload more often.  My stimming, or repetitive, behaviors have also increased, like moving my hands, rocking, hair twirling, jumping around, etc.  Hopefully, once the semester ends, everything will calm down a little bit, and my autism will improve again.


"I live in the same world you do; I just experience it differently.  I am a human being with feelings, just like you; I just express them in my own way."  ~Me~